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How to Survive Life in the Suburbs

Simple Questions from Suburbia

in Everyday on 05/18/09


Since I gave up the single life and settled down to become a hip suburban mama, I have found more then a few annoying questions for which I have no answer.
Is there no answer…or am I just that blond?!

Where DOES the other sock go?

Why DO men think it’s OK to fart in the marital bed?

At what point do us young, vital women, start making that odd grunting groaning noise as we drag our behinds off the floor?

How is it that in a house with four people, two of which are adults, the wife seems to be the only one who has mastered the art of changing the roll on the toilet paper roll?

Why is it that men get better looking with age, and women just get old?

When did Kraft dinner with a side of wiener and an apple become a well balanced meal?

What did I do before kids?

When did the definition of an amazing evening change? I’d gladly pass up a night out at a bar in exchange for a quiet evening at home with Hubby, a bowl of popcorn and a rented flick.

At what point did I stop just grabbing clothes off the shelf in the store that were “my size” and taking them to the cashier? Now everything must be tried on.

When did finding a bikini that actually fits, or a pair of jeans that look fab become a true victory?

When did I start to get excited about a sale at the grocery store?

How did a quality carpool become something to envy?

What happened to my boobs?

Help!

  • « Passive Agressive Letters ….with Love
    Can You Spot A Liar? »

    Comments

    1. Annette Piper says

      May 20, 2009 at 10:42 pm

      I so agree with EVERYTHING you’ve said. You sure we weren’t twins separated at birth!?

    2. Kimberly says

      May 20, 2009 at 9:25 pm

      LOL!! I wonder all of those same things! Let me know if you ever figure out the answers..please 🙂

    3. theneatos says

      May 20, 2009 at 3:56 am

      adorable post!

      well balanced meal? yours has fruit? Man – Mag warms up chili, pours it on fritos and calls it a meal!

      for my childless anniversary weekend? Mag and I went to dinner, did laundry, watched a movie and mowed the lawn. Lookit the party animals.

    4. Savvy Mode SG says

      May 20, 2009 at 2:07 am

      i think i will hang onto single life for a while….

    5. Elizabeth says

      May 20, 2009 at 2:05 am

      So well put! This is an awesome list. My favorite is “what did I do before kids?” It was only 15 months ago, and I’m totally clueless as to what the heck my life was before this munchkin came along!!

      PS – I’ve just tagged you in a super-short meme over at my blog so come for a quick visit. 🙂

    6. Millennium Housewife says

      May 19, 2009 at 8:39 pm

      Oh dear, no answers I’m afraid but you’ve just given me a lot of questions. Other Mothers do that grunting thing too? I must tell Husband. Do Other Mothers wake up in the night and wonder what the hell happened? Hope so MH

    7. Mary K Brennan says

      May 19, 2009 at 5:24 pm

      Sorry about your boobs. Maybe they’re at the bar with the boobs I lost after childbirth enjoying a couple of margaritas. Since I don’t get to go to those places anymore, I’ll have to be satisfied with my current droopy status.
      How do we do it?

    8. Jennifer says

      May 19, 2009 at 8:00 am

      Oh my gosh, are you reading my mind?!? ROTFLOL! These are GREAT questions!

    9. Liz says

      May 19, 2009 at 2:36 am

      Love love Love your post! I think all that came with age. Thank you for the wonderful comment you left at my blog. I really had a great laugh here really your post.

    10. Lizzie says

      May 19, 2009 at 2:10 am

      those are GREAT questions!! thanks for coming by my blog 🙂

    11. The Holmes Crew says

      May 18, 2009 at 11:54 pm

      Thanks! I need that!

      Oh, and by the way – I’m the only one capable of changing the roll here too!

    12. Margo says

      May 18, 2009 at 10:47 pm

      yes, I can relate to these things. Even with two daughters, I’m the only one who can handle “mission toilet paper”… ditto for all kinds of basic operational procedures!

    13. Martha says

      May 18, 2009 at 9:03 pm

      I have no answers for anything except the Boobs. Gravity at work my dear. So please add a good bra to the fab jeans and bikini list. Thanks, MM.

    14. Carrie says

      May 18, 2009 at 8:24 pm

      Oh, LOL! unfortunately, I can relate to too many of these…hee hee!

      Thanks for stopping by! Glad to meet you 🙂

    15. pam says

      May 18, 2009 at 7:59 pm

      All excellent questions! Although I am the opposite at a clothing store, I grab and go and try on at home. Then return them when they don’t fit.

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    Travel addict, sun seeker, coffee drinker, fashion lover, picture taker. This is a peek behind the closed and competitive doors of the suburbs. A place to come to learn about the best places to travel with your kids in Canada, the United States, the Caribbean and beyond! stephanie@sassymodernmom.com
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