How to Survive Life in the Suburbs

Passive Aggressive Letters. . . . with Love

in Everyday on


Dear Donut Man,
I truly love that your coffee is warm and that your sweet forbidden sugary pastry goodness is available fresh right from the oven. I guess that would explain why it is a little bit warm in here. However, cashier number 2 clearly has a glandular problem. His sweat is pouring down his forehead like a marathon runner at the end of a race. It drips off his chin and splashes on the counter. He just used his long sleeve shirt to wipe his perspiring cheeks. As I wait in line calculating if he will be the man serving me today, I realize every patron in your store is doing the same thing. We all mumble “please not him…please not him”.
For the sake of all the germaphobes in the world, to keep the Health Department from knocking on your door, to stop that man from passing out from dehydration, to keep me from finding another donut shop to haunt….give him 5, get him a cold cloth and turn on your air conditioning!

Dear Potential Guest
I sent out an party invitation to you 6 weeks ago. At the bottom of said invitation was a very polite…please RSVP by…. It is now 1 week before the party and still I have not heard from so many of you. Is it really so difficult to check you calender and respond.
Find you manners.

Dear Pharmacy Assistant
I can tell your plans for this weekend are going to be off the hook! How do I know this, well because I so rudely dragged you away from your conversation from your friend so I could give you the prescription I received from my DOCTOR. As you sullenly took my name and number I was over the top polite to you. Why? I am praying you fill my script in a timely manner. Oh, and if you have the time do you think you can wash your hands BEFORE you help the pharmacist fill my prescription? I wouldn’t bathe my dog with nails that filthy.

With Love…

    • Comments

    2. Colleen-I loved that you added your own letter! Feel free my invisible friends..I can’t be the only one with some pent up passive aggressive love that needs to get out!

      Martha-Thanks for telling everyone to back off!

      All my lovelys -The Donut man was icky….but he has the best donuts! HA

    4. I love your letters…you are so funny!!!!
      I get it about the pharmacist asst….why are WE so bothersome to people who are trying to have fun instead of work???

    6. My friend sent out invites to a party only 2 RSVPed so she called to cancel. The day of the party 5 showed up!!!! She told them it was canceled. No one called. WTheck!!

      How hard is it to RSVP!!!!

    8. Can I add my own letter?

      Dear Bad Drivers,
      Did I have a sign on my car this morning that said “Please Pull Out Right in Front of Me?” Because I really don’t enjoy slamming on the breaks in the middle of a rain storm. Maybe next time you could wait the 2 extra seconds and pull out AFTER I pass by. Thanks.

      🙂 Now I feel better, thanks Modern Mom!

    11. Dear People in Modern Mom’s World,

      Please use some common sense and courtesy when dealing with my friend, MM. You will be pleasantly suprised at how warm and fuzzy this will make you feel inside.

      Sending my Oy Veys,

      Martha

    12. LOVE IT! I love reading these letters so much! Ewww about the donut man! Gross me out, I probably would have left for fear of him serving me!

      And how rude of those people to not RSVP on time! COME ON PEOPLE!