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How to Survive Life in the Suburbs

Passive Aggressive Letters. . . . with Love

in Everyday on 07/02/09


Dear Donut Man,
I truly love that your coffee is warm and that your sweet forbidden sugary pastry goodness is available fresh right from the oven. I guess that would explain why it is a little bit warm in here. However, cashier number 2 clearly has a glandular problem. His sweat is pouring down his forehead like a marathon runner at the end of a race. It drips off his chin and splashes on the counter. He just used his long sleeve shirt to wipe his perspiring cheeks. As I wait in line calculating if he will be the man serving me today, I realize every patron in your store is doing the same thing. We all mumble “please not him…please not him”.
For the sake of all the germaphobes in the world, to keep the Health Department from knocking on your door, to stop that man from passing out from dehydration, to keep me from finding another donut shop to haunt….give him 5, get him a cold cloth and turn on your air conditioning!

Dear Potential Guest
I sent out an party invitation to you 6 weeks ago. At the bottom of said invitation was a very polite…please RSVP by…. It is now 1 week before the party and still I have not heard from so many of you. Is it really so difficult to check you calender and respond.
Find you manners.

Dear Pharmacy Assistant
I can tell your plans for this weekend are going to be off the hook! How do I know this, well because I so rudely dragged you away from your conversation from your friend so I could give you the prescription I received from my DOCTOR. As you sullenly took my name and number I was over the top polite to you. Why? I am praying you fill my script in a timely manner. Oh, and if you have the time do you think you can wash your hands BEFORE you help the pharmacist fill my prescription? I wouldn’t bathe my dog with nails that filthy.

With Love…

  • « Deep Thoughts. . .
    Like you haven’t heard enough about me! »

    Comments

    1. Carolyn says

      July 9, 2009 at 6:57 am

      Loved your post! You are so funny! Thanks for making me smile!

    2. Krystyn says

      July 3, 2009 at 11:16 pm

      Yuck to the donut man…and the pharmacist..just tacky!

    3. Annette Piper says

      July 3, 2009 at 10:02 pm

      Ahhh yes, don’t those things just make you cringe. One day, we’re really going to have to SEND those letters…

    4. thatgirlblogs says

      July 3, 2009 at 8:24 pm

      Dear Modern Mom,

      I liked this post!

      Love,
      That Girl

    5. Maria @BOREDmommy says

      July 3, 2009 at 6:25 pm

      You’re hilarious!!

      Maria @BOREDmommy

    6. Maria @BOREDmommy says

      July 3, 2009 at 6:25 pm

      You’re hilarious!!

      Maria @BOREDmommy

    7. armyblond says

      July 3, 2009 at 3:20 pm

      Wow! This is great! I’m new hear, but I can’t wait to read on!

    8. Kat says

      July 3, 2009 at 1:49 pm

      What is with all the dirty sweaty men? Gross!! Hygiene people… hygiene!!!

    9. ThetaMom says

      July 3, 2009 at 12:11 pm

      Great letters…I really enjoy your blog, which I recently discovered. So, I am giving you an award! 🙂 Go to the following to collect:
      http://www.thetamom.com

    10. Tami says

      July 3, 2009 at 12:03 pm

      LOL, here plays my memory.. Ic an’t remember if I commented and you haven’t approved it yet.. SO I thought I’d leave ya another one LOL (in case I didn’t) grrrrr..LOL

      I’d flip out over the donut guy. I’m such a Germ-A-Phobe. I’d have left the building. I seriously have issues with cleaning my hands at every turn. I have wipes and liquid to wash my hands with in my purse, in my car, in my desk at work, on ever counter in my house is a bottle of “GERM X” *shudders*
      People who try to shake my hand.. I smile and make a fist tapping them on the knuckles.

      I know 99% of men DON’T wash their hands after coming out the rest room…I see it at work daily. THEY ARE NOT ALLOWED NEAR MY DESK. Nor are the lil rascals allowed to use my pens, or phone.

      I’d RUN FOR THE HILLS! LOL

      Now the RSVP’ers.. Get the book on Etiquette by Emily Post!.. Highlight the page where it states one must RSVP.. and give it to them as a gift! I always do! heh heh.

    11. Gena says

      July 3, 2009 at 7:00 am

      Love your letters. Donut Man is a little creepy though. lol

      Thanks for coming by.

    12. Adventures In China says

      July 3, 2009 at 6:14 am

      I love Canadian doughnuts so much I would have to overlook the sweat. Hmmm….doughnuts…

      These were all lol, I agree!

    13. Jennifer says

      July 3, 2009 at 4:34 am

      LOL! I think I have a letter to add to your collection there – to the guy who was driving THISCLOSE to the back of my car this afternoon! 😉

    14. Hit 40 says

      July 3, 2009 at 1:33 am

      I don’t know… krispy kreme donuts are great going down. But, they really hang in there way too long like a log in your tummy!!!

      I would have had to pass on the sweaty donuts.

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    Travel addict, sun seeker, coffee drinker, fashion lover, picture taker. This is a peek behind the closed and competitive doors of the suburbs. A place to come to learn about the best places to travel with your kids in Canada, the United States, the Caribbean and beyond! stephanie@sassymodernmom.com
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