How to Survive Life in the Suburbs

This Weeks. . . . . . . . . . Confessions from Suburbia

in Everyday on

I put baby powder in my hair this morning because I was too damn tired to have a shower.

When my kids asked why we had to leave the park. I had no good excuse. I used “Because I said so.” I swore I would never do that.

When the Hubby was away golfing and the kids were tucked all snug in their beds, I snuck more then my share of the freshly baked oatmeal chocolate chip cookies. WAY more.

I had to give myself a courtesy flush. P U!! That will teach me to eat so many oatmeal cookies!

When I saw the Jehovah Witness crew knocking on the door….. I hid.

We fed the kids Kraft Dinner for supper, put them to bed, then feasted on Lobster. Just because.

It took me three days to return a phone call from my 90 year old Grandma.

I had to throw away 4 chicken breasts and a package of ground turkey because I just didn’t get to it in time.

I tried to talk my daughter out of Girl Guides because there are three girls in that group that have been so mean to her. The world doesn’t need any more pre-teen drama.

I honked at an old man I saw tagging a bridge…upon closer inspection, it turns out he was cleaning up the graffiti.

Please tell me I’m not the only one!

    • Comments

    4. This was so funny… Thank for the laugh. I got honked at the other day while walking my dog. I jumped so high he just wanted to say hi because he has a dog like mine.

    5. My husband tells the Jehovah Witnesses – you’d better leave before my wife gets home; she’s a rabid Catholic and will try to convert you. He’s also told a contractor that I was mad (as in crazy) and he’d better finish the project on time or he’d give me the contractor’s number . . .

    6. Ha! I tossed two chicken breasts out yesterday because I hadn’t gotten to them and they kept taunting me every time I opened the fridge. My husband asked if we should used them, but I told him I didn’t think it was a good idea unless his last will and testament was up to date. Also, I’m a bit hopped up on sugar because I just downed a bunch of ice cream fast before my kids got home from school.

    7. Too funny, and NO you are not the only one. I have done all of the above…well except for the honking at the old man. Hey, I won’t tell if you don’t tell.

    11. OMG that last one had me in stitches, girl!

      You’re so damn creative, reading you is a breath of fresh air every time.

      Not your bathroom air though…

      *grin*

      ps: nothing wrong with KD, my mom used to cut up hot dogs in it for us when we were kids – it was crack for children, LOL!

    14. I must remember the baby powder in the hair tip.
      I’ve stopped running when I see Jehovah Witnesses knocking at my door, instead I tell them about my job, half way through they usually make up an excuse to leave. Not very God like if you ask me!