How to Survive Life in the Suburbs

Flashing Lights and Uniforms

in Everyday on

Damn. Lost an earring. Got water on my shirt. Hair dryer broke. I’m running late. Now I don’t have time to stop and grab that Chi Tea Latte and the coveted Ginger Molasses Cookie. Starbucks is the ONLY place in the world where you will ever hear a man ask……”Can I warm that cookie up for you?” Oh well, better for my butt if I skip the sweets today anyway.

Sitting at the stoplight singing away.
“If you loved me then you should have put a ring on it…oh oh oh oh …”
LONG light.

Touch up the lip gloss.
Gee. My hair actually looks good today.

Green and away we huh?
Bleep bleep *flashing lights*
What on earth?
~not speeding
~Didn’t jump the light?
~OK, pulling over Mr Cop Man.
The officer approaches the car.
Ohhh …..Mrs. Cop Man. Sorry.

“License and Registration” She says.
“Sure. Um…Is there a problem?” I query.
“Yes Mam, your license plate does not match the vehicle you are driving.”
Huh??? And might I add a silent …What the Hell??

“I’ve only had this SUV for three weeks. My husband took care of all the paperwork, and you won’t believe this but I can’t find my ownership or proof of insurance.”

“Stay in the vehicle Mam”
This is when she gets on her handheld radio and takes my ID back to her car.

I start to phone my Hubby to find out exactly why my plates don’t match my new car. At this point a second police cruiser comes screaming up. Lights flashing. He blocks the street.
Apparently when you “steal” a car, you get a lot of attention.
Great. I’m going to be on “COPS”.

Hubs calls the owner of the car dealership.
Owner of the dealership calls me.
“Modernmom, we will get this straightened out, in the meantime “ He advises. “be sweet and flirt with him a little?”

“Dude! The officer is a chick!”

“Oh”..says owner man….”Is she wearing comfortable shoes?”
40 minutes and many many conversations later the officers decide to let the ModernMom with the shaking hands go free. It has become clear that I am NOT a thief, and that the dealership who sold us the car simply forgot to transfer the old plates to our new vehicle.

I have 24 hours to produce ownership of this vehicle and proof of insurance.
Done and done.
Today’s lesson.
Always make sure your plates are properly transferred when you get a new car!
Apparently in the Suburbs car thieves can look like soccer moms.
Thank the powers that be that the nice officers believed my story that I am not a thief, just a blond having a really bad day.

    • Comments

    7. I would still be bawling about it if I were you. You must have a really strong character to get out of it just shaking. Definitely deserve the ginger cookie and chai latte now.

    8. Your tax dollars hard at work, eh?

      *rolls eyes and sighs*

      That “adventure” would warrant a nice long date with strong liquor BEFORE dinner!!

      Are you ok??

    12. I love the comfortable shoes comment. too funny. I am sure it sucked, but makes for a great story, doesn’t it? Make you wonder why she was randomly checking the soccer mom’s license plate. I bet she has VERY comfortable shoes and a grudge on that broad shoulder

    14. that is insane the dealer told you to flirt, are you kidding me? that won’t work when you are thought to be a car thief! wow, thankfully you got outta that, that is a wild story!!!