How to Survive Life in the Suburbs

Deep Thoughts, People are Rude

in Everyday on

Observed while in the viewing room at a civilized Gymnastics’s Club…

Have you ever coughed so hard that you farted? The lady sitting beside me watching her child in the gym did tonight. Sucked for her, all kinds of funny for the rest of us.

I need some kind of privacy screen for my blackberry. Nosey girl on the other side keeps trying to read my texts.

If your feet smell like donkey butt, feel free to be a rebel and break the “Remove Your Shoes” rule.

Egg Salad sandwiches have no business in an enclosed space. Besides, didn’t he learn a lesson from farty girl? Eating egg salad and then sitting in a warm crowded room for an hour is like taking your life in your hands. Risky.

I like little kids as much as the next person, probably more, but please, stop your baby with the snot bubbles blowing our of her nose after her 3rd rendition of Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer. That wee one’s gurgly tune is making me feel ill.

I am stoked that you got invited to the party when Cheryl didn’t. I can’t believe Scott said that. Are you sure you can’t make the movie? I DON’T CARE!!!! Get off your cell phone or walk down the bloody hall and have your private conversation. Don’t sit there and pretend there is no one else in the room. Rude.

Only 6 more years until this kid can drive herself to the gym.

Anybody want to carpool?

    • Comments

    3. no to the cough/fart, and yes to sneezing so hard I piddled a little.

      people ARE rude! that’s why, as a general rule, i don’t really like people. 🙂

    4. hahaha…this cracked me up..because there is so much to gain from blog fodder pespective when you just sit and observe in these situations. Egg Salad Sandwich made my tummy churn though…ick.

    7. OMG, I’m still laughing about that woman next to you who farted. I hope no one thought it was you! That’s the danger sitting next to someone who does that Lol!!

      That happened in one of my yoga classes during the end when we are all told to lie still and relax, biggest fart ever rang out through the room and I couldn’t stop laughing long enough to get refocused. I should do a post, it was so funny I still laugh when I think about it,

    9. Wow, I get off so easy w/the boys sports, they get their gear, water battles and off they go, I just am the taxi.
      I am so over people and their cell phones, talking in the potty gets me, I always make sure to double flush.

    14. Painful. Hope I don’t offend anyone or get banished from the privilege of commenting here. I qualify the following statement by acknowledging that I am overtired and super high strung. I am sent over the edge by far more benevolent but disturbing things like singing and whistling (oh and snapping your gum or popping bubbles, whatever it is called) in public. It has the same affect on me as making out 2 feet from me. Do it somewhere else. bastards.