How to Survive Life in the Suburbs

Theme Park Parenting Fails

in Everyday, Travel on

Universal

I’m back!  We are tired and happy. Back to the real world of carpool and homework, laundry and “What’s for dinner?”  So much to do, so much to tell.  Where to start?  With my thoughts on some shocking parenting behaviour!

I know taking your beloved babes to the Theme Parks of Orlando Florida can prove to be stressful.  What with the crowds and all the “I want ice creams”, “I’m tireds”,“I want on THAT ride now” “Get me off this scary ride now” and general whining going on.  Here is the thing.  We are the parents.  We are the ones who are expected to step up, grab a map, create a plan of action, have snacks on hand for the “hungrys” that attack.  Figure out when to say “No” and when to cave to the demands of our wee folk.  We may also need to dig deep if this memory making day hits a few bumps!  Tap those reserves of patience and kindness, find what is needed to get our babies through the stressful, exciting, emotional roller coaster of a day that is the Theme Park experience.

Above all, we must avoid these parenting fails that made me shake my head and chomp on my tongue to keep quiet on my foray through the Theme Parks this week:

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When your two year old toddler falls down in her bathing suit and scrapes both of her knees and cuts her palms.  Your reaction should never be “Of course it’s gonna hurt you cry baby.”   Are you kidding me?  Perhaps take her off her way short leash, then she would not trip every time you raise your arm to point at something new!  Parent fail!

Seventeen? year old Mama in ripped up cut offs and tank top super preggers with baby number two and constantly readjusting your hair, pulling down your shorts to umm cover your cheeks and checking your makeup, not that I am judging, you self involved tart.  An 8 month old baby gets NO nutritional value from that Orange Crush Soda you just poured in her bottle!  Parent fail.

Sir, your little boy is clearly exhausted and terrified of Shrek in 4-D. 

P2160037 Shrek is a big boy!  In this Momma’s humble opinion, telling him to “Suck it Up”.  Not Okay.  Ever. Parent fail.

…and the timeless classic seen in every theme park in the Orlando area…

Wheel chair fakers.  You know, the family that pretends they are in need of a wheel chair, so they go sign one out?  Now they can cut to the front of every line.  News flash, we are on to you!  It is a dead giveaway when your kid is utilizing the wheelchair as you approach the Superman ride but when we see you again at the Hulk rollercoaster Mom is taking a turn! 

Spiderman

What exactly do you think you are teaching your impressionable young children?  Spiderman would be disappointed with you.  Parent fail.

I would never pretend I am perfect, in fact my kids faces may hurt from being repeatedly asked to smile for the camera for the past two weeks, but I also know I did my job!!  Those smiling exhausted kids tucked snug in their beds tonight are happy and content, we all enjoyed ourselves and my two girls did not suffer any major Parent Fails.  Can’t wait until next year!

    • Comments

    3. Have they opened Hogwarts at Universal yet?

      I am guilty of saying, “suck it up” and “suck it in.” I think that sucking it up is a good thing. I recently told my 12 year old, who shed real tears, for the third time in a row at the barber shop, that if he wasn’t going to let her cut his hair, he was going to have to “suck it up” for the next 6 weeks until his next appointment. I’m afraid I don’t have the funds to have his hair trimmed every 2 weeks, because he digs the ‘almost messy’ look. That was last Sunday. Yesterday he begged me to take him for a hair cut, I guess I must not have said it mean enough.

      I tell my three year old to “suck it in” each time I try to button his pants. 3 year olds are *not* supposed to weigh 55 lbs. He is solid muscle, but, if he didn’t “suck it in,” he would have to wear nothing but elastic waist pants, I figure we’ll try to save some of the mystery for when he is a senior citizen.

    4. Welcome home! One time at Sea World I saw a mama walking around, talking on her cell phone, paying no mind to her kiddos. Several minutes later, she walked back to the area I was in with someone that worked at the park — she had lost one of her kids. SHOCKING!

    5. Dude, the parents that feed their baby soda in a bottle KILL me! It’s sooo sad!

      Got to give it to those wheel chair fakers, you know you want to do it too! 😉

    6. we went to disney 1.5 yrs ago. my kids were amazed by everything! even by the kid in front of us in line who was PLAYING WITH HIS DS! yes-an handhelp entertainment device in the happiest place in the world!
      my kids thhought he was weird. got to agree.
      if you go to disneyland/world that much that it doesnt even impress your kid-take a year off of buying the passes!
      parent fail!

    7. Isn’t part of the park the people watching? Wow. That’s just sad.

      I was at the pediatrician’s office and a one year old was drinking coke out of a bottle. Yea…that’s a win.

    8. Oh Disney and the theme parks..so fun but full of great blog fodder.

      And we saw a Mom fill her baby’s bottle with Coke. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Orange Crush OR coke for a baby is a big big big fail.

    9. Oh theme parks. The ultimate people watching experience! It’s like a breeding ground for stupid people! Almost worth the admission just to see all the idiots in one place!

      Can’t wait for my first family Disney experience!

    10. You know, I am way way way FAR away from perfect, but it is so easy to see why kids are the way they are when you are in a setting such as that. Seriously. Ugh.
      Glad you are back! Missed ya!

    15. I’m so glad you are back, I just thought about you yesterday. Parents like that totally amaze me. We go to Disney every year and I am appalled by the behavior I see. Kids get tired and hot in the FL sun…must parents get mad at their sweaty crying child?? Seriously…parents….straighten up and fly right!