It was a rare event. Three free hours with no Hubby, no kids. I could have headed home and done some laundry, paid those bills read some blogs. I decided to take a walk on the wild side and actually do something for me. Off to my little nail salon for a wee bit of pampering. With the help of my fancy hands free blue tooth I managed to secure myself the very last nail appointment of the day. This might be the best idea I have had in a long time. Was going to get myself some of these.
I arrived just in time to say goodbye to the assistant nail tech and have a quick chat with the second last customer of the day. I’m all kinds of friendly like that. It wasn’t long before I was enjoying the familiar gossipy talk Hyde always offers up when I mange to squeeze in a visit. He filed, and laughed and chatted. I tried to be witty and keep up.
Suddenly the atmosphere in the tiny nail salon changed. I could feel it, I could see it on Hyde’s face, but to be honest I didn’t know what the hell was going on. A tiny little girl walked up to where we were seated.
Hyde, you have been served.
Ummm Awkward.
Yeah this little trip to the nail salon. Not so much fun for me anymore. Even less fun for Hyde.
He needed me to help him decipher the paperwork. English is not his first language. He is being sued for full custody of his 2 week old son. Gut punch.
Now I am usually all about the Mamas, but Hyde is in a tough place.
He is a first generation immigrant from Vietnam. He is looking after his elderly parents who are not well, and speak no English. They live with him. This is expected in his culture. It is his honor and his duty. His parents have told him if he try’s to bring this girlfriend OR his son home, they will not “be recognized”. Then …Hyde will be disowned.
Hyde told me if he let’s his son go “he will never in his life be happy”. Yet, if try’s to remain involved in his sons life, he will lose both parents, bring disgrace to his family and “never in his life be happy”.
You know what is not a lot of fun? Having a man paint your nails with tears in his eyes.
You know what is less fun? Being that man and being forced to pick between your culture, your parents……..or your newborn son.
I’m a free thinking, independent, self centered? Canadian girl. I know what I would do. Easy for me. My heart belongs to my children, not my culture. My parents would lose in this game of school yard pick. I don’t know what our friend Hyde is going to do. I think it’s harder for him.
What would you do?
Kristina P. says
Man court dates really ruin everything. I totally would have requested a different manicurist. Not your problem. 😉
Randi Troxell says
uugh.. this just completely broke my heart… all the way through…
i WAAAAAAY to often take america for granted.. makes me think i should sit here and think of all I CAN DO.. w/out worries of retribution…
bless his heart…
Adventures In China says
Reading this through my Chinese eyes, this breaks my heart. I could see a Chinese friend also going through this. My answer would be the same as yours…but I know my students would choose their parents. It’s hard for me to understand, but they do feel more loyalty to their parents than anyone else on earth.
Design it Chic says
Poor Hyde! I hope he figures something out and puts his priorities in order! If i were him i would pick the kid other than culture, parents, whatevah.. but for him must be harder since it’s not just a hypothetical situation like for me right now.. idk..
Anyway I wish you have a Happy Tuesday and check out the Technical Support today!
Much More Than Mommy says
I actually have a very good friend who is Vietnamese, she was born there and came over in the late 70s and we were JUST talking about the cultural differences today, so my heart is breaking for your friend because he has to be more torn than we could ever imagine. 🙁 So sad. I mean, I’d pick my kids in a heartbeat, but after talking to my friend, I just don’t think it’s that easy for him.
Traci says
OUCH! Double ouch! I know what I would do but that is little help to Hyde. I would choose my children over anyone and anything. I have never been asked to choose and I hope that I never am but it would not be hard decision. Painful — yes. Hard – no. I wish him well.
Crazy Shenanigans says
Aw, that’s so awful and sounds like such a hard place to be in. I think it would just depend a lot on how the baby mama is thinking.
Jessica-Lauren says
Oh he’s not married? oh boy I really hope things work for him, I could only imagine how he feels. I’m keeping him and is child in my prayers and I hope he gets the courage to take care of his child who needs his father more than Hydes grandparents need him.
LauraJane says
How sad. 🙁
I’d pick baby too. But is that an option, or is the baby momma having none of it?
Martha says
Hands down, always my babies!! Nice mani btw, you have beautiful hands to match your heart.
Gigi says
Oh this breaks my heart! Here is a man who is willing to step up and be father (when so many today refuse to) and his parents are making him choose?? I could never turn away from child just because he made a bad choice or mistake. Hopefully, he will choose his child and hopefully his parents will see the error of their ways. This is their grandchild! How can they turn their backs on that baby?
Just Breathe says
My thoughts and prayers are with him. I can’t imagine not being with my children, that would be my choice.
Melanie says
Sometimes you have to follow your heart and make the right decisions for yourself – even if it means losing your family.
It’s his life, and his happiness. I really hope he makes the right one!!!
shortmama says
That is just awful! I would absolutely pick my kid too, wouldnt even give a second thought to it
Kelloggsville says
Child and the parents will come around in the end. Poor Guy