How to Survive Life in the Suburbs

Girls in Sausage Casings and Tappy Shoes

in Everyday on

Hubby and I got a last minute invite to go our for dinner. Out to a restaurant with other adults on a Saturday night?  I am embarrassed to tell you how long it’s been since I got dressed up and went out for a fancy schmancy meal. I’m even more embarrassed to tell you that I had to psych myself up for it.  MAKE myself get my big butt off the couch, out of my comfy yoga pants and into big girl clothes appropriate for a nice night on the town.  

Cranked up the tunes, painted my nails, destroyed my closet in an effort to find an outfit that said something more “hot mama” less “she’s trying too hard and is ten years past her prime”.  Finally with a thick coat of make-up, to cover up the black circles under my eyes, I was ready for a fabulous Saturday night. 

This is what I really got.

A pleasant dinner with a couple of hardy belly laughs along the way.  A pan seared sable fish that was cooked to perfection, a stunning glass of chardonnay that tasted like more, and a big old reality check.

We were seated near a table of seven “women” celebrating their 18th or 19th birthday? These um “women” were dressed to the nines for their evening out and were in all shapes and sizes.  The odd thing, I’m pretty sure they were all wearing variations of the same little black dress.  A stretch black spandex mini was worn by the size 0 all the way up to the size 22.  All the girls had their bits and pieces, from their boobs to their butts, bursting out of every seam, spilling over the top and squishing out the bottom.  Shiver.  They were attracting all kinds of attention for all the wrong reasons. From the sausage casing dresses to the constant tapping of 4 inch pickle stabber shoes, to the gum clacking and not so quiet cursing, these girls were a shock to my system.  because apparently I am old and out of touch I felt like I was witnessing a bit of the Jersey Shore right here in the Suburbs.

The Hubby’s at our table laughed and remarked that they were born at the wrong time.  When they were in high school all the girls wore polo shirts and desert boots.  They covered up!  “Respected themselves and let their confidence shine from the inside!!”  I piped up and then ranted, “Now the girls are more likely to emulate Snooki or Lindsay Lohan during her dark druggy days, then the styling’s of Ralph Lauren.  What the hell is the world coming to when young girls feel like they have to dress like that to be beautiful?”

Although I am thrilled that these girls feel confident and think they look like all that and a bag of chips, I fear for the future …and my girls. Sigh.

*images from google

    • Comments

    1. Yep. I could not agree more. When I was out on Saturday night, I saw the same things. While it is awesome to have confidence? Your friends REALLY REALLY OWE IT TO YOU to let you know that a little more fabric never hurts young ladies.

    2. Things are so much different now than when we were growing up. I wish my 12 year old didn’t have to see the likings of Lindsey or Snookie, but sadly that’s who she will most likely want to dress like when she’s older and going out with her friends. ::sigh::

    3. Oh I’m sooo nervous for my daughter! The last vacation I went on, there was about 8 girls, maybe a high school graduation trip paid for by mama? Anyway it was just these chicks on a boat with a captain they paid. They all wore the sluttiest things out! They wore like BUTT necklaces? It was soooo pathetic and sooo sad! I remember jeans and hooded sweatshirts when I was in high school!

    5. i don’t get it either. i think they don’t have confidence and feel the only way to get attention ( even though it’s the wrong kind of attention) is to dress this way. it’s really terrible and sad.

    6. Stories like this (and witneesing similar stories myself) make me think that if I ever have daughters, my house will be on lockdown. They can leave when they’re 30, fully clothed….

    7. I’m pretty sure thongs came onto the scene in a major way when I was in highschool. I was horrified even as a teen.

    10. A few summers ago I bought a top from Express, one of those longer ones that has a thick band at the bottom.I wore it out that night and saw another girl wearing it a a dress…..