How to Survive Life in the Suburbs

Next Holiday I Want To Be The Dad

in Everyday on

EasterEggsA Dad’s Role at Easter:

-Participate in Easter Egg Hunt activities

-Shower for dinner

-Get dressed

-Nap?

-Show up for dinner

That is all.

Mom’s Role at Easter:

-Weeks before Easter co-ordinate with sister, Mother, Mother In Law, Sister In Law, possibly cousins. Find dates that will work for a minimum of two Easter celebrations.  Dates must not conflict with extra curricular activities of the six cousins or with any other family member schedules.

-Minimum of two weeks out start picking up “little things” for Easter from treats to socks to menu necessities.

-Create menu plan for meal you are hosting or dishes you are taking to multiple Easter feasts. 

-Take children shopping for appropriate Easter outfits.

-Forgot to buy shoes.  Go shopping again.  Pre-teen will be all kinds of thrilled about this.  Sigh. 

-Week of Easter brave WalMart along with thousands of other last minute Mom’s to stock up on Easter Egg Hunt supplies and baskets.  Suffer sticker shock at price of baskets stuffed with sad looking floppy eared bunnies and eggs that should be embarrassed to try and pass themselves off as chocolate.

-Create your own beautiful but pricy basket of joy and then give that damn bunny all the credit for delivering the perfect Easter morning. 

Easter dinner is two hours away.  Force the kinds into the shower and re-live the same argument that drying one’s hair after the shower is truly part of the “having a shower experience”.  (every single time!)

-Present Easter outfit number one for dinner number one.

-Go to get dressed yourself.  Realize you forgot yourself in the Easter Clothes shop of 2011.  Try on six pairs of pants before you find one pair that is acceptable. Destroy closet in the process….another mess for later.

Check on girls. They have both altered their outfits to make them more “comfortable”.  Decide to Let. It. Go.

Have they brushed their teeth? No.

Have they brushed their hair? No.

Are they wearing clean socks, any socks? No!  Of course not, they can’t find socks. Ever.

Have an internal scream and go in search of back up.  Where is Hubby? 

Napping.

Deep breath.

Count my blessings.

Next year, playing the role of Daddy, will be me.

 

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    • Comments

    2. Haha, such a funny read! At the same time, completely true, I see how this occurs in my family!

      Hope you had a great weekend!

      S.

    3. So funny! I love how the girls have no socks to wear! Oh, and the pricey basket…yup, I think I spent $100 on chocolate. Effin Easter bunny…
      Hilarious post Steph!

    4. This rings so true it makes me giggle, but you know what, I tried to take a year off this year… we went to the beach, so our celebration stuff was pretty minimal… no big dinner or fancy outfits… and I missed it! It didn’t feel like Easter!

    5. That seems like everyday life doesn’t it?
      My responsibilities versus his are like 80-20. The odd thing? When I’m back to work, I work the same amount as he does…I got the shit end of the stick.

    6. oh no.. that must have been a day for you.. I was lucky we went to a brunch.. I just had to get things ready before we left.. Have a great night..

    7. I just came over from It’s Just the World I know, and I’m so glad I did! I can relate to this post, and I don’t even have any kids! It’s just the months of preparation that go into all Holidays for we women that gets to me too! And celebrating with both sides of the family (and both our parents are divorced), can make it less than fun. I’ve taken to running away to FL (my dad lives there) every Christmas just so I don’t feel like I’m running a marathon each year!

    11. what is it with men?! why can’t they NOTICE that something needs doing and just DO IT. Why do they have to be nagged off a chair to help and then we feel like complete nags and they want a round of applause for having assisted…and don’t get me going on the Bunny, Tooth fairy and Santa getting all the up front credit. Deep Breath! (any chance your next post could make me feel slightly less stressed …I am so in the moment with this one!)

    12. A-FRICKIN-MEN!!!
      He can’t figure out why I am so tired out..DUH!
      I’ve done EVERYTHING! Well, he did the dishes, and the driving, i’ll give him that…BUT STILL!!!
      And then not to mention throwing in the logistics of being a family with ex’s/old family/new family..who’s going where and when and when they’re coming back and how they’re getting here etc etc.
      I am soooo thankful that tomorrow is school and also that they’re heading to their dads for 2 days..i will be SLEEPING for the next 2 days! *do not disturb!* 😀