How to Survive Life in the Suburbs

Nose Hair Plucking and Bright Blue Eye Liner. Where Do We Learn That Stuff?

in Everyday, Family on

I was lamely trying to take my 40 year old face and cover it with enough make-up to pass for a 36 year old. Yes, at this point looking 36 would make me all kinds of happy.

Dear Hubby had just spent his 2 minutes and 42 seconds brushing gel through his hair, checked for any exceptionally long nose hairs, and his beauty routine was complete.  Now he really wanted to know.  Where on earth did I learn how to do all of these things that us women folk need to know in order to “present ourselves to the world”.

So I thought about it and with my genius IQ and I came up with this eloquent answer.  “I dunno know.”

Then it bugged me, so I thought about it some more.  Where did I learn that women need to wash their faces every night before bed, that they must moisturise, the steps required for foundation (still can’t do that right) blush, eye shadow, mascara, eyeliner, lipstick, eyelash curler, hair straighter…the list goes on and on and it’s exhausting!

I guess my Mom taught me some things.  Never to leave the house without my “face”.  Love my Mom, and as much as I didn’t want to pass this one on to my dear daughters, I fear I have.  I will not leave the house without at least lip gloss and eye liner.  I am not that hot, but I am that vain. 

But the rest of it, the make-up application, the face washing, the constant need to moisturize and fight wrinkles; where did all of that come from?  You know what is scary, I think I learned most of my beauty regime, my standards for what it means to be a “proper”  girl, what makes me pretty, came from my girlfriends, my peers.  I clearly remember in grade 8 my girlfriend with the cool older sister went from friend to friend “doing our make-up the right way”.  Bright blue eyeliner for all of us….and a lot of it.  We all wore our eyes the same way for the next three years.  That’s the power of the girlfriends!

Now that I’m older, magazines and the television keep shouting at me that I am getting old.  They scream you are 40 you need to fight wrinkles, age spots and any sign that you ever had a good laugh!!  So I do. 

So how am I going to help my dear daughters be confident in who they are, just the way they are?  How do I ensure they make their own decisions about what is pretty, and avoid major fashion and make-up disasters along the way. 

Here is my plan.  I vow to make sure they never get a poodle perm, encourage a make-up lesson at a professional make-up counter (at an appropriate age) and I will not try and make them into a mini-me.  I will encourage my girls to surround themselves with positive people.  To be themselves, and be proud of who they are!  I will be sure to tell them every day that they are gorgeous just the way they are.  No wrinkle cream, flashy dye jobs, perms or bad make-up required.  Know what else I’m going to do, I’m going to try and remember this myself.

Being a girl is hard…

    • Comments

    1. We definitely learn a lot from our peers. In an ideal world, our children hang out with other children whose parents have the same values and mindset as we do. I guess the very least we could do is set an example. 🙂

    4. Um, excuse me. You are that hot.

      There’s nothing wrong with vanity. We have to like what we see looking back at us in the mirror, or at least accept it and realize it could be a lot worse. I constantly complain about my thin, crappy hair but when I think about people undergoing chemo, I realize how lucky I am!

    5. What’s sad is that I didn’t even know about or care about this stuff until I was in my upper 20s. And that was simply because I’d had a couple of my babies and they made my face look like a typical 14 year old with red splotches and acne. I didn’t experience any of that when I should have, so as an adult….it makes me sad. 🙁 Especially when I have to appear “professional” at work. Egads.

      I have NO IDEA how I’ll handle my daughter. Ugh.

    6. I was never cool enough and just a few years too young to do the blue eye shadow. But yes, I think I learned from my friends and teen magazines. Love the idea of the professional makeup training

    8. I forgot to say that my husband takes longer than me. He is a bit OCD when it comes to hairs around the nose and ears so he does spend extra time in front of a 10x mirror each day!

    9. Other then some simple eye make-up and blush I never wore a lot of make-up until much later in life. My mother didn’t wear a lot either.
      My 30 year old daughter also only wears some eye make-up and blush.
      I also learned from magazines and television. Best to protect them for as long as you can because no one really needs foundation until they are much older.

    10. It can be daunting if you really think about it; all the time spent primping ourselves.
      The sad thing is, the young girls REALLY look better au’ natural. But they don’t realize it until they (we) are grown up!!!

    11. But I want a mini me! 🙂

      No, actually I don’t.

      I think I learned everything from the watching the girls 2 grades ahead of me.

    12. It is amazing what we learn from each other, good and bad. My blue makeup inside my lower eyelid was never a good choice but my friends and I wore it for a few years.

      Interesting to think that this is exactly why social media works for brands…

    15. Gosh Im glad I have boys, because I really have no idea how I learnt all that stuff. Im pretty sure I wore some bad make up for a few good years, and my mum let me get away with it…..