So I kind of thought I was the pioneer in this family of writing the passive aggressive love letters, voicing my inner most thoughts for the entire world to see, you know getting it all down on “paper”.
Turns out I am but a babe. My Granny, she is the grand dame of letters and poetry and she showed her stuff at Christmas.
As I lay upstairs tossing my cookies having my pity party for one. My fabulous Hubby carried on and made sure my entire family still had Christmas. This included drinks, appetizers, a full turkey dinner and of course the traditional gift opening. This year, with a twist. My sweet old Granny, in her 93rd year, had written MY Husband a poem and recited it aloud for the entire family. I missed the whole damn thing. Don’t worry, don’t worry! I got my hands on a copy!!! So without further adieu, a poem, from MY Grandmother to MY Husband. Oh yes, let the Awkward begin.
(and for the record I adore my Grandmother and think her brilliant beyond words…I just don’t have a clue where the hell this poem came from? Perhaps it was helped along with some Sherry? )
Dear B
Do you remember our Christmas last year
When you opened your gift with the greatest of cheer
Only to see half a bottle of wine (Oh yes she did. Last year she gave him a HALF a bottle. That’s how she rolls)
And cried with great sorrow “Is this truly mine?”
So this year the bottle is full to the brim
For you to enjoy and to keep yourself trim
And never for get that I wish you much joy
For my Grand-Daughters Lover’s a really great boy!
Oh. YES. SHE. DID.
Oh Grandma. Sigh. You are one of a kind. Thanks for the giggle and helping to make this Christmas one we will never forget.
Julie says
I LOVE her spirit! What an awesome story!
Tooje says
That is so OLD SCHOOL and brilliant to use the term lover! I love it. I now think I might give my mom a half bottle of wine this coming season. How funny that would be to have her open it.
Augmented Gem says
Haha Granny has some kick in her eh lol what a sense of humor!
Augmented Gem says
Haha Granny has some kick in her eh lol what a sense of humor!
Sober Julie says
Ahhh I aspire to be like your Grandmother one day…bright red lipstick, blue hair and a mumu..
WhisperingWriter says
Ha, hilarious, love it!!
Busy Bee Suz says
I LOVE this poem and I LOVE her…reminds me of my late Grandma; full of spunk!
Carol@TheDesignPages says
So funny! The fact that she’s 93 and can still write poetry is a fantastic thing.
Stefanie says
That is fabulous!
amy b.s. says
your grandma is seriously awesome!
The Blonde Duck says
How funny!
Polly says
Aww Bless, what a lady.