How to Survive Life in the Suburbs

Fashionable Shoes and Broken Teeth

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Turns out I have a catch phrase…or two!  Advice from the Suburbs.  Words to live by?  Maybe!  Ready?

#1.  Fashion Before Function.

ShoeLove

Yes, those Christian Louboutin Shoes look and are AMAZING!!  I might have picked up a pair of these little beauties in Paris.  Le Sigh.  They are beautiful and even tone my legs and butt, you know, because the heels are ridiculously high.  The problem, I can only wear them for about four hours before my back is screaming at me and my toes are bordering on numb.  Comfortable they are not.  TOO BAD!  Suck it up girlfriends.   The rule is Fashion Before Function!

#2  Protect The Pretty

(Warning.  Horribly graphic picture ahead)

Ready…..

Here comes the sad sad picture of pretty gone horribly wrong…

Will

Eeeekkk!!

Now, where was I?  Oh yes, Protect The Pretty. 

I AM CANADIAN!!  All the man boys yell this as they head out onto the ice WITHOUT cages on their pretty little faces.  Why?  Why would you not put a piece of steel between you and wooden sticks and flying chunks of rubber?  Well, because they are MEN, they are stupid and disillusioned and under the mistaken impression that they  can stop the pucks from hitting them in the chops with sheer will power!

This is “Will”. *Name changed to protect the dumb pretty.

Looks as if “Will” forgot his Superman cape this cold Canadian day, the price….five teeth and a broken jaw.  This is not pretty.  This is painful and expensive.  He did not heed my advice, because he, like all other Men, are too cool for cages.  Remember Canadian or not, when you step out on that ice, Protect The Pretty. 

So common sense, words to live by or just my brand of blonde advice?  Meh, I don’t know, but it’s been working for me! 

Be careful in your heels and out on the ice this weekend!
Mwah!

    • Comments

    1. You know me…I’m definitely a Fashion before Function kind of gal….especially when it comes to shoes!

      Men are dumb the world over (i.e. NONE of the boys on my sons football team would wear a cup – why?!). But because they are dumb they don’t understand the Protect the Pretty rule.

    3. HOLY OUCH! Thanks for another reminder on why I don’t where heels. Sorry to break the lady code but I do not believe in fashion before comfort.

    4. Heels? What are heels? LOL. Loving those shoes…I wish I had somewhere to wear them. Maybe while washing the dishes or folding towels. Lol

      HOLY MOTHER!?!?,??!?,!!!!,! Ouch! Gotta say…your Canadian men are tough!

    12. yes, protect the pretty. Thankful I have laid down a law in our house, you do stoopid things, your mama will have to take care of you (which I shouted out the window as he drove down our street heading for bloor street on his bike with no helmet “if you get hit and hurt I’m sending you back to Sackville”). Now he wears his helmet :).

      Ah, pretty shoes, I remember when you purchased these shoes, I drooled, I dreamed, I was purple with envy. (on a side note Fluvog has gorgeous shoes, high heals that you can walk in for hours).