How to Survive Life in the Suburbs

One More Reason To Wear Clean Underwear

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I can’t recall if my Mother was the one who taught me to “Never leave the house unless you are wearing clean underwear”, you know, in case you get hit by a car and get rushed to the emergency room.  I mean, you wouldn’t want any of those strangers to see you in dirty panties, or perhaps worse Granny panties!!  But this is a rule I do live by.  Don’t be leaving the house in ugly skivvies.  Sadly after this weekend, I think I have a new rule to add to my underwear list.  Don’t sleep in your “Giving Up On Life Pyjamas” .  Don’t act like you don’t know what those are.  It’s those PJ’s that you have been holding on to for 10 years that really should be in the trash bin.  The elastic may be all stretched out in the bottoms, the tank top that was once a cutsie little matching thing, but is now worn thin and see thru, but you hang onto them.  Why??  Simply because when you get to the bottom of the clean laundry pile and you are super tired there is something comforting about putting on those raunchy PJ’s.  UNTIL NOW!!

Let me take you back to my Friday night.  It started out with a bang and went out with a whimper.  My girls had a great evening.  One at a girlfriends, one out at a banquet.  We waited them out at their exciting evenings out by watching hockey on TV.  Woo Hoo.  (where is that damn sarcasm font)  Finally crawled into bed by about 11:30pm and drifted into a blissful and much needed sleep.  At 4:30am,  a very rude awakening.   Pain in my chest and ribs, breath stolen from me, heart racing, tear inducing fear…..  Details I don’t want to go into, pain I won’t soon forget.  A scary hour that had my Hubby with one hand on my shoulder, the other hand holding a phone, contemplating calling 911.  An agonizing 60 minutes.

I was so wrapped up in a cycle of pain I was having trouble thinking clearly.  I couldn’t make a decision.  Did I need to go to the Hospital? Was the pain getting worse? 

So how did I finally know the pain was subsiding, how did I calm down enough to figure out it was my stupid rib popping out and smashing against a nerve,  and that I was going to be okay?  When my thoughts drifted from concentrating on trying to catch a breath and dealing with the pain, to the realization that I was wearing ugly ass pyjamas.  Mama could not go to a hospital full of potential Grey’s Anatomy looking Docs wearing my I “gave up on life” PJ’s!  What if I saw someone I knew?  I looked like crap on a stick. 

Vanity insanity at it’s best.  As I realized I was actually worrying about how bad those PJ’s are I also realized I was going to be just fine. 

Some new self truths from my Friday night of pain.  The hypochondriac in me now has a split personality.  On one hand I think you should never ever go to bed in dirty PJ’s, cause this could happen again but the end result may be a trip to the ER in those embarrassing duds!  The looking for the silver lining side learned those ugly ass pyjamas just saved me a trip to the Hospital and there are a LOT of germs there.  So what is my conclusion, these are not giving up on life pyjamas, those are some magic ass Pyjamas. 

Hope your Friday night was better then mine!  Mwah.

    • Comments

    3. I’m a 53-year old single guy…I’m now hearing that the saying that you should wear clean underwear in case you have an accident…I’m now hearing that I should bring a spare pair of underwear in case I have an accident (some of you will get that one, even if sometime later)…I usually wear a new one when going to the hospital, in case I should have to stay overnight (and sometimes take others with me in a bag)…it’s not so much that I care what the staff thinks of me…it’s that I would prefer them not to have to look at stains (not that, I’m sure…they haven’t looked at them before)…

    5. Oh my, that doesn’t sound like the most benign way to have that realization! I hope you have checked things out and are okay, lovely lady.

    6. During my second twin pregnancy, I borrowed one of my mother’s nightgowns as I had forgotten to bring pj’s on a visit. I ended up on bedrest and wore that nightgown as it was the only comfy thing I had. I had several episodes of premature contractions and had to make a few visits to L and D. Well, I would keep that nightgown on and shove it into trackpants. I knew the nurses were way too busy to notice my outfit:)That nightgown was so much more comfy than the hospital gowns and if I was going to have to be stuck there, I was going to be comfortable!

    8. Ha Ha That is soooo funny! I don’t mean about your pain, for that I’m really sorry and hope you are better but yeah, I get why you would not want to go to hospital in crummy PJs!

      PS. My mom taught me the same thing and tell my kids all the time, don’t leave home in dirty undies

    11. I’m glad you are feeling better. It also sounds like you have a wonderful husband. I wouldn’t worry about the pj’s but if you are, I usually have very mismatched and old pj’s on too.

    13. HAHAHAHA! That is a great story. I mean obviously not the part about you waking up in pain, but the lesson from the story. Made me laugh.

    14. As somebody who doesn’t wear pyjamas to bed, you’ve certainly made me pause for thought. If the paramedics ever need to be called for me in the night, those boys will definitely have something to talk about!

    15. I’m really glad you are okay! But yeah, I’m guilty of the giving up on life pajamas…in fact, every pair I own is a giving up on life pair.

      And, of course, it was your mom who told you to always make sure you had nice underwear on; all our moms told us that.