A tradition at How To Survive Life In The Suburbs, the Passive Aggressive Letter…with Love of course. This past weekend, my fabulous and funny blogging friend Kyla at Mommy’s Weird, allowed me to grace her blog with my presence. For her I created a hodge podge of some of my favourite letters that clearly explain one thing; I do not understand people.
Dear Tim Horton’s Customer,
At the Tim Horton’s coffee shop, there is a certain protocol one must follow. It is quite simple really. When you walk in the door, you go and get in line. You line up at the BACK of the line. You do not wave your skinny Lululemon clad ass and think this is somehow a pass to the front. I for one am unimpressed. Okay I was a little bit impressed, but not enough to let you get your coffee before me and the 70 year old gent who held the door open for me.
Signed,
Yep, People Can Still Surprise Me
Dear Sweet Girl Helping Us Out In The Tile Store,
Yes. You have boobs. All girls do. Yours do happen to be exceptionally large. This is not something that I usually find overly distracting. Today however, I felt like a dude. I could not stop looking at your boobs! A little advice from one babe to another. When you work in a great big cold building, and have great big boobs, and one of those boob points east and the other points west, it might be better if you put on a bra. A good one.
Just Sayin.
Signed
The Girl Who May Have Talked To Your Boobs. (Sorry)
To see the rest of the passive aggressiveness, please pop over and say Hello to Kyla!
(She is super funny, you will want to meet her! Please tell her I said Hello!)
Thanks for this! 🙂
LOL hilarious! Lululemon clad ass! Line cutters drive me up the wall too!
LOL….east/west…north/south. 🙂 Funny!
Sometimes it’s the little…or in this case not so little…things that get us!
Cutters drive me CRAZY. I always speak up, too. It’s not fair – especially if I’ve put in my time waiting in the line, too. My time is just as valuable.
As George Costanza would say “We are LIVING in a SOCIETY here, people” – and yes, I agree, there is a protocol in lining up that needs to be followed or societal breakdown is inevitable. It begins in Tim;s and the next thing you know, Sharknado.
Slights while standing in line will get people fighting faster than pretty much nothing else.
Funny stuff. Following the link now.
ha. at least you could tell directions…like a compass…ha…ok probably not helping there…smiles….ugh, line breakers should be publically shunned…oy
lol….thanks for the laugh. So agree with you on both!!!
Totally agreed about Lulu Lemon clad ass I don;t care who you are get in line like the rest of us. Song “What if God was one of Us” coming to mind Let me assure you that you are not god! and bras are required ESPECIALLY in cold buildings and AT WORK!!! It is like must wear shirt and shoes to be served Just saying!
Love that! I hate it when I feel like a dude because I can’t quit staring at some overexposed knockers! I feel so sorry for actual dudes who try to be polite and respectful. It’s hard!!!
Hahahaha!!!! I am more passive aggressive than I’ll ever admit. These are right up my alley~
Two good letters!!!
Wahahahah!! 😀 Thanks for the MOnday morning laugh!
Drives me insane when people think they are above standing in line!