How to Survive Life in the Suburbs

Passive Aggressive Letters…With Love

in Everyday on

Oh dear friends, it’s that time again.  It’s actually way past time that I let off a little steam and vent a little in my own special way with some passive aggressive letters from the suburbs.  With love of course.

Dear Little People Who Live In My House,

Dishes go in the dishwasher.  You. Know. This.  Not on the counter, not on the coffee table and not in your bedroom.  In. The. Dishwasher.  Nuff Said.

Signed,

60 More Days of Summer?

 

Dear Delivery Man,

(I shall decline to out you by identifying if you are my UPS or the FedEx man, but you know who you are!)  I am less then pleased, that for the third time in as many weeks, I have walked outside to find a “Sorry We Missed You” note hanging on my door handle. Why does this upset me?  Notice that I found this little letter as I walked outside.  I was HOME when you came by with your delivery.  Did you just decide you had just enough energy to walk up to the door but not enough to RING THE BELL???  Seriously a ten on the frustrating scale.  This my friends is a Delivery Man fail.

Signed,

Not Getting My Packages in The Suburbs

 

Dear Me,

I know those chips are amazing, and agree that ice cream and chocolate tastes best when you don’t have to share, but please remember, nothing tastes better then thin feels.

Signed,

Jiggly Legs….(and watch out cause you know Old Lady Bat Wings are next.)  Shiver.

    • Comments

    2. I know that delivery man; he’s been to my house too. Seriously, is the door bell that hard to reach?
      Bat wings. *sigh* I’m seeing signs of this and it has been my work out into high gear; aint pretty!

    3. So agree with you on all of the above.
      Most delivery guys (no exception of the company) are lazy. I work from home most of the time, my car is parked outside on the driveway and I still get the NOTE. I think that they actually have pre-made notes for all the deliveries done during business hours and they just stick it to your door. LAZY LAZY LAZY.

    4. Hi! 🙂 I love these letters. Yep Delivery Guy from “another” choice of deliveries did the same thing here just yesterday. Everyone in my house is here, the garage door was open, and nope no packages left or signed for, had to go all the way back into town and walk through the allergy infested store to their pick up location.

      Thanks for stopping by my place this week.
      kyootycenter.blogspot.com and kyooty.blogspot.com

      • You know I thought about calling the delivery dude’s place of work. I just keep giving him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe I was upstairs, maybe the doorbell was stuck? Maybe, maybe maybe…but then I realized. Nope. He’s just not knocking!

    7. We must share the same delivery man! I just hate when that “missed you” note appears. And worse, we often get packages that have to be pick up at the main office by the person it’s addressed to only they don’t note who the person is– me or my husband. Drives me NUTS!

      Hope you finally got your package.

      • Oh no!!!
        Fortunately for my pick up location is not too far away so it’s not a terrible inconvenience. Sounds like it’s a real pain for you!! You know this also has me wondering. Companies or people pay to have their packages delivered. Shouldn’t they try more then once?

    8. Such a funny post! It is all SOOOOOOO true!! I’ve opened the door and CAUGHT the guy leaving the “Sorry we missed you” sign!! He kinda just ignored me anyways…

      • LOL I wonder if they go back to their office at the end of the day and compare notes; kind of a “Ha I left four Sorry I missed you notes today!”

      • I think I could write an entire series of “Dear Me’ posts!! (now if I could only get myself to listen!)

    11. I hate to say it, I enjoy your passive-aggressive letters blog posts.. Not that I am taking enjoyment IN your misery, but I often say: “Hell yah!” after reading them…

      I am pretty sure it is a conspiracy amongst UPS/FEDEx to avoid ACTUALLY delivering packages… I, too, have gotten the “Sorry we missed you!” notes while home… and therefore had to drive half hour across town to pick up the package.

      • Soozle I am kind of thrilled that you enjoy my passive aggressive letters! Not just because I require validation, but because I find them to be so therapeutic. I don’t plan on stopping anytime soon 🙂

    12. Ugh I know all about the delivery man. When we were waiting for special papers for my kids, hubby CAME HOME FROM WORK to be there for delivery, and they didn’t bother to ring the doorbell, just left the note. Then, we had to get said papers resent, for a $50 charge, of course!

    15. Oh I need to remind myself that nothing tastes better then thin feels all the time .. funny I just don’t seem to be getting the message.