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How to Survive Life in the Suburbs

On Stealing Chocolate, Swearing and Peeing…a little.

in Everyday on 11/11/13

If confession is good for the soul, this week I will be all good!  Here my friends, are this week’s confessions from the suburbs:

*Today I stole the last full sized chocolate bar out of my daughter’s Halloween bag.  Calm down, I will replace it.  It wasn’t even a good chocolate bar, it was a Coffee Crisp and I ate the damn thing in about 60 seconds. 

ChocolateBar

*I flat ironed my hair this week. In itself, not unusual.  What I did that was off the wall?  Instead of using heat protector on my hair, I sprayed my hair with some A535 type substance.  I smelled like a 90 year old woman for three days. 

*I swore in front of my daughter, loudly.  Then tried to distract her from my slip of the tongue by lecturing her on the evils of mean women who make up stories and gossip.  It didn’t work, she just thought it was cool that I cursed, loudly.

*I fed my kids Pizza for dinner.  Twice in the same week.  I’m such a good Mother.

*I sneezed.  (this is not the confession)  I had to stop walking and cross my legs when I did.  Yup.  It’s been more than 12 years since I carried a babe around in my still giant belly and I still cannot sneeze with confidence.  Pathetic.  Those nearly 9lb babies ruined my lady bits. 

*I sent an e-mail with pictures attached to myself.  When 6 seconds later, my phone “beeped”, I excitedly checked my e-mail to see what had arrived in my inbox.  Idiot, it was the e-mail I had just sent to myself.  Blonde much?  Guess so!

Honesty, it’s good for the soul! Feel free to try it with some confessions of your own, or at least tell me mine aren’t that bad!

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    Comments

    1. kathy downey says

      November 21, 2016 at 1:39 pm

      haha,i almost peed myself just reading this post…oh the things we do

    2. loucheryl says

      March 5, 2014 at 12:16 am

      I emailed a photo of a kids to myself today. I meant to send it to my BFF but nope. Oops!

    3. Teresa Honores says

      November 28, 2013 at 11:51 am

      lol omg me too with my almost 9 lb baby i hate when that happens! LOL have a great Thanksgiving!

    4. joanna garcia says

      November 28, 2013 at 10:46 am

      we all have those slip ups just prove we are human no matter how hard we try to be perfect!

    5. Denise says

      November 24, 2013 at 1:49 am

      Wow, your daughter got full sized chocolate bars, my children didn’t, just those little piddly things that I had to take 4 of to make up half a full size one. Didn’t cut it!

      • Stephanie says

        November 26, 2013 at 2:33 am

        Yes, the full size chocolate bar seemed to be a big giveaway this year! She was so spoiled and I was so stealing them 🙂

    6. Victoria Ess says

      November 20, 2013 at 12:13 am

      Oh my gosh, was your hair okay (besides the smell lol)? I can’t think of any confessions at the moment but will post another comment if one comes to mind.

    7. loriag says

      November 17, 2013 at 1:29 pm

      Confession is good and you are normal, thanks for joining the rest of us!

    8. ~she~ says

      November 15, 2013 at 6:20 pm

      All those pee stories makes me grateful for my C-Sections! Pizza twice in a week is nothing to confess….at least you fed them twice that week. I’ve seen worse. Normally, I’ve finished most of the candy from their Halloween bags by now. This year, I believe I’ve only shoplifted one lousy piece. Being on a diet is no fun at holiday times. Being 22 lbs. lighter – priceless! 🙂

    9. ChiTown Girl says

      November 15, 2013 at 4:22 pm

      I didn’t read one thing here that was confession-worthy. 😉 I think we’ve all been there, done that.

      Well, at least I have. =)

    10. Heidi C. says

      November 13, 2013 at 1:25 am

      I broke down hysterically in front of my daughter over work stress. I let her believe Mommy hurt herself instead of trying to explain. Sigh. We all have our moments as parents :)!

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    Travel addict, sun seeker, coffee drinker, fashion lover, picture taker. This is a peek behind the closed and competitive doors of the suburbs. A place to come to learn about the best places to travel with your kids in Canada, the United States, the Caribbean and beyond! stephanie@sassymodernmom.com
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