How to Survive Life in the Suburbs

How That Yearly Physical Is Like A Hot Date- Sorta

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It’s that most dreaded time of year again. (and this time I’m not talking about the Dentist) It’s time to go and get all the bits and pieces checked at the Doctor; time for the yearly physical.  As I lay in bed fretting about the big old bag of salty chips I had just consumed, I had myself a small giggle, a realization, if you will.  Preparing for this yearly trip to get poked by Specky the speculum is kind of like getting ready for a really hot date with your man, except, not at all. 

So here it is, laid out in all their glory;

The Top Five Ways Your Yearly Pap Is Like Getting Ready For A Super Hot Date: 

1) The week before your appointment/date you start to panic, wondering what on earth you will wear!  You realize you have only a short time to smarten up, eat better and drop a couple of pounds before the big date!

2) You don’t sleep the night before because you are so damn nervous/excited.

3) The day of the big date, you wash and shave, primp and prune all your bits and pieces just so.  Must make a good impression!

4) Eeek! What undies does one wear to this particular kind of “date”?  After all in at least one scenario, you’re a sure thing!

5) When it comes right down to it, your are truly terrified about what’s sticking out from under that white sheet!  Go ahead and tell me it’s not scary!

Specky4Specky2

PS Men really have no idea what we woman go through!  Blech.

    • Comments

    2. I just did the dreaded appointment 2 weeks ago and it is the most uncomfortable feeling just going into the place. Don’t you just love when you feel like the doctor has taken a wrong turn during the internal part. I actually said to my doctor “I think you took a wrong turn and went too far because those are my tonsils”. I hate the dreaded female physical !!!!!!!

    3. For my last physical the doctor had her hand in me so far, that I asked her if she went to far or did she want me to cough because she was up at my tons

    4. Haha I remember having these thoughts! Over the years, these concerns have faded (a bit)!

    5. ohhhhh that yearly visit so sucks , but now i have a woman doc so it makes it a bit less stressful ,and just had mine done a few months back , she told me that now its every three years here in Nova Scotia YAHOOOOO LOL

    9. Not my favorite thing; but it has gotten easier over the year. {I think I just stopped caring??}
      I feel so bad that my girls have to go through this now. Specky the speculum? Hilarious!

      • I’m not looking forward to the day when my girls have to meet Specky. Ahh being a girl is so much fun!