My Dad called me last night. All kinds of excited. His first question “So, what furniture do you want from the cottage, were selling”. Dad said what? Huh?
The parents have decided that it is time to sell the old family cottage they have been using as a home for the past 20 years and downsize to a condo. Mom and Dad put me on the dreaded speaker phone and chatted on and on about the benefits of condo living, the proximity to the community pool, beach access, and how they won’t have to do yard work or stairs anymore. Were they trying to convince me or themselves?
I looked at pictures with them (on line) as they chatted about furniture placement and all of their things they are going to have to get rid of.
After nearly an hour, I congratulated them on their big move and hung up. Then looked at my Hubby and with one big crocodile tear rolling down my cheek asked him
“Why the hell am I finding this so upsetting?”.
I knew the answer and didn’t need him to spell it out for me.
It’s not that they are packing up 20 years of memories, the closest thing we have had to a “family home” for Thanksgivings and Christmas celebrations. It’s not that they are selling the place I ran to when I had the big news to share that we were expecting our first baby. The place where I know my kids always have a room to stay. It’s not that they so easily part with their prized possessions while I seem to accumulate everyone else’s junk in my basement.
It was the sudden realization that… my folks are getting old.
The cottage has become too much for them. My Dad is afraid he can’t handle the stairs much longer. He just re-painted the outside and doesn’t ever want to do it again. The roof will need work soon and that is too hard. There is grass and snow and gardening and and and ……it is just too much.
Sigh. I’m not ready for my youngest to turn 9, my oldest to creep ever closer to 12 or for my parents to get old.
Can someone please stop the clock? Just for a little while…..
Psst 2 Days Until the Toy GiveAway
My Mom (91)moved to a seniors complex recently and it”s so sad when i past the old homestead
Well, as you know (because you’ve stopped by my blog), I am 11 years older than you with much older parents (well, now “parent”, singular, sigh) and I wish I could offer words of reassurance to you. But I can’t. There is a hard, hard road you have ahead of you. When your parents get really old and feeble (which hopefully for you is many years away) it is incredibly gut wrenching to be taking care of them, having them become more and more dependent on you. That whole total reversal of the roles, as you become your parent’s keeper: sucks. Not that there aren’t deeply moving and gratifying parts to it. And being able to be there for my parents is/was so important to me, I would not have passed it off to anyone else for the world. But there is no mistaking it, helping a parent through the bitter end: it’s brutal. But as I said, this is the mere beginning of a very long process, and it sounds like your folks are still relatively young and vibrant. Enjoy this time now with them and make the most of it. And that clock stopping trick? If you ever figure it out, pass the secret along to me, OK?
I forgot to give you a ((HUG))
It is very hard to watch are parents getting older. My mom died when I was 31 but my dad is 87. Your parents are probably close to my age and I understand where they are coming from. The house we bought 4 years ago is a one story home and we love it but we won’t be retiring here. The taxes are just too high! But for now we are loving it but the condo at the beach will be coming next.
I so wish we had a pause button on life, too. 🙁
Reality can be hard to accept for all of us. When I “go there,” I try to think of all the pluses of the particular situation and I watch others that are enjoying their changed lives, i.e empty nest, etc.
But old age ultimately leads to death, and it’s hard to imagine it. Again, I see that others who’ve gone through it manage to continue good lives, and I will too, hopefully. (My dad has already passed.)
Hopefully, I haven’t depressed you. I’ll end with a smile. 🙂
This is something I am just starting to realize myself. Little things here and there and I come to see that the cycle of life is going about it’s business.
My husband is 10 yrs older than me so he has already heavily into this feeling. His dad has recently passed away. That was tough for all of us but tough for me because I got a glimpse of what is coming for us. Old age and caring for our parents instead of vice versa!
I have the exact opposite problem. My father is 63 (diabetic, legally blind, and overweight). He lives with my step-mother in a 4 bedroom home with a sprawling yard.
They have rooms they never use, a deck they never entertain on, and a garden/yard no one admires. Yet, they refuse to downsize and move to a condo or townhome. My dad couldn’t see to clean the gutters (nor could he climb the ladder to the 2nd story). They don’t really invite family over to enjoy the size of their home. AND, my dad’s company isn’t doing too well. He constantly complains of money and bills yet won’t downsize.
I hear you! I know the feeling all too well. I have been struggling this year with accepting how old my parents are and just wrote today about taking my kids back to college and how hard that is. Sometimes being a grown-up stinks!
That sounds like my parents too. They’re going through the motions as well trying to sell the family home so they could go back home to the islands and retire in peace next year. I’m going to miss them so much. Time does go by fast..
I think we all wish for this! Treasure every moment, they told me when my babies were born and I’ve worked like the dickens to do so. 🙂 Live in the happy memories for now and look forward to still being able to make future ones!
{{hugs}} I was in such a hurry to grow up, to finish my studies and start a career… Now that I have kids, I just want time to slow down.
Oh sweetie… (( hugs )) – reading this is like being in your shoes… yet nobody ever wants to be put in that situation. Aging. Sucks. Why is life flying by so quickly? why are our lives so dang short?
Feeling melancholic tonight. Sigh. Sorry I’m no help :-/
Aw, something like that would have made me sad too. I hate the thought of my mom getting older. If you find a way to stop time, let me know.